Friday, October 28, 2005


Remember when Halloween happened on Halloween? I took my kid trick or treating on Oct. 27. Is no paganistic candyfest sacred?

The city instituted Thursday night trick-or-treat a few years ago to keep children from being run down by drunk drivers on Friday night. But this year, Halloween is on Monday. What is the conflict there? Monday night football? I guess in Central PA the Pittsburg v. Baltimore game is too important to be interrupted by a couple thousand teenagers dressed like Jerome Bettis.

What's so great about a Thursday night trick-or-treat anyway? Is it a plot to sabotage "Will and Grace" ratings? Thursday surely has its share of drunk drivers. I mean, Thursday is the new Friday. I do some of my best drinking on Thursday nights. Partly because Joey is so painful. Partly because I have to brace myself for the Neilsen Phenomenon that is CSI/Without a Trace. What? I have a kid.

Imagine my irritation when I have to modify my Thursday-night TV-viewing habits for the neighborhood association. I mean c'mon - NFL aside (admittedly I'm not a big NFL fan - but still...) Monday is a LOUSY night for TV. CSI Miami? News flash - that red-headed guy shot six scenes (look over shoulder, remove glasses, eye flicks to camera, walks out of frame) four years ago. They just recycle them with new sound. And the OED (Over-Explanatory Dialogue) rates about 9.5 out of a possible 10 (10 is reserved for sex and drug films shown in health classes). Seriously. If you work in a crime lab and the guy next to you works in a crime lab, how many times do you have to repeat the phrase "By comparing these striations, which are as unique as a fingerprint, we can determine if these bullets were fired from the same gun."

What else do we have to lose by trick-or-treating on Monday? A three-episode blight of "Medium" episodes. Wifeswap. King of Queens/How I met your mother/Two and a half men/Out of practice?

There may be a fair number of drunk drivers out there on Monday night after all.

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