Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Swept away

Last week a man told me I'd have to line my chimney to the tune of $2400.

Today I paid a man $50 to tell me that my chimney is in perfect working order.

You'd think I'd be happy about that.

Whew.

I'm up $2350.

But I'm not. I'm irate. I'm mad as hell. I'm vigilante, pipe-swinging, crank-calling, better-business-bureau calling mad.

Pissed.

I'm pissed because the sales pitch of the $2400 man was "Carbon Monoxide will leak into your house and kill your two year old."

Mother fucker.

Don't tell me something is threatening to kill my two year old unless you are SURE.

Do you hear me, everyone else that uses that as a sales ploy?

BE SURE.

Or look out.

I WILL have this guy's operation stung by an investigative reporter. I will watch as his truck is repossessed, his license is revoked and his business is dismantled.

Mark my words.

I am on a mission.

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