Wednesday, December 21, 2005

A lot like Christmas



Is ANYONE ever home to sign for a package? EVER?
They've misdelivered 3 packages for me in 5 days.

My son only wants one thing for christmas: "fruit snacks."
Perfect.
Because he kicked me in the shins this morning when I asked him to apologise for spitting at me.

My back yard has three layers of snow in it. Miraculously suspended in these geologically stratified layers of ice and snow are over 20 piles of dog poop. It's gonna be one heck of a spring out there.

I pulled 15 strands of christmas lights out of my attic.
Four work.

I was berated for grabbing the bottle of tequila out of the company goody basket.
"It's for the whole department," one whiny bastard whined.
But they only gave us one bottle. What kind of party can an entire department have with one bottle of tequila?