Friday, April 07, 2006

Holy Moly

I watched 43 minutes of Fox News in a row last night. The first twenty were like a sport: I was sort of enjoying myself. Then, straight-faced, they invited Oliver North on as an expert about God-knows-What. I started to feel nauseated. I couldn't hear what he was saying. Didn't this man get indicted and shit for being a crazy fucked up liar? How is he considered a legitimate correspondent on Fox News? Have Republicans lost their MINDS? Are they so far ahead of the Democrats that they feel like they could put a convicted felon on Fox News and expect us to take him seriously? About 38 minutes into the show, my head started to hurt. I could feel the blood whizzing through my corotid artery. I felt light-headed, dizzy and a little sleepy. I stumbled, half-blind up the stairs and clumsily fell into bed, fully clothed. Fox News gave me an episode.

I'm old enough to be a republican. I'm financially stable enough to be a republican. I don't particularly like democratic politics. But JEEZ are the republicans fucking up right now. W is flailing, Delay is doing his thing, Libby is doing his thing, Cheneburton is doing his thing, and Fox News relies on the journalistic prowes of Ollie North. Cripes, people. Are any of you BREATHING?

And what's this about my Diet Pepsi having Benzene in it? Isn't that Rubber Cement thinner?

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Yahoo Yeehaw Yip Yip YipaYee

I am going to get very fat living in a real city. Sushi. El Salvadoran. Steak. Mexican. Thai. Vietnamese. I am the perverbial fox in the chickencoop - only the chicken coop is stocked with barbecue brisket and Shiner Bock. The 1450 mile drive was worth every dang second (and each mile took its toll on the 99 V70 - the dashboard display lit up like a Christmas tree five minutes out of knoxville. Speedometer cut out, Check engine light came on, Turbo light blinking - -then nothing.)

God bless Texas.