Wednesday, October 11, 2006

'Bucking up

Ernie Schenk opened up a little can of worms with a recent post about Starbucks. I started to comment on his blog, but realized I was going a little long-winded, so I'm sticking it here instead:

Ernie writes: "I've often wondered what it is about some brands that permit them to grow and flourish virtually free from derision while others, like Starbucks, seem to have a lot of good will in the early stages of their growth cycle but become increasingly disliked as they get bigger and more successful."

It's irritating that every 5 miles in Dallas there's a Home Depot, a Bed Bath Beyond, a GAP and a Circuit City. I don't think anyone has an issue with Starbucks as a product or a brand, although they did reportedly have a very blood-thirsty business model initially, where they'd offer to buy mom and pop coffee shops, and if refused, they'd open up right next door and run them out of business.

But that aside, I'm just sick of driving fifteen miles and passing the same six stores. It's become apparent that we're running out of constructive economic opportunities at the brick-and-mortar level. The only things that prosper are huge retail chains and huge fast food/fast casual QSRs. It begs the question: do we need another friggin Starbucks on the other side of the street? Does Starbucks need another Starbucks?

It's development abuse. Starbucks is officially forcing itself on people when it opens locations with that kind of frequency and density. I don't give a shit if they make money, but DAMN - leave an acre of grass here and there.

Not to mention, along with the urban sprawl issue, there's the whole cultivated-need issue. For years, we got along without three $4-$7 cups of coffee a day. Now we piss away $50 on a whim - no wonder bankruptcy is up. We're all financing our caffeine fix.

But enough from me. Let The Kid From Brooklyn tell you about it.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


From battle of the Brands (thanks to Make the Logo Bigger)
To battle of the Bands. (thanks to my creative director for the heads up).

I always knew Metallica would come out on top.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Learn from my Mistakes: Chapter One

You may NOT wear flip-flops on a hard-hat tour.

The full Glover

The last time a Crispin was this busy, he nearly knocked Letterman's teeth out.

The Crispin I'm referring to this time is, of course, Alex's Crispin.
Speaking of which, do you all think Alex and Chuck get pissed that no one calls the shop "Porter" or "Bogusky"? Who the hell is this Crispin fellow, anyway? And why isn't he being splattered all over the cover of Adweek? I can find nothing on him (or her) on the CPB website, because they have an alarming lack of bios

Between snakes for Burger King and Slash (who had a band called 'Snakepit', right?) for VW, CPB has a bunch of crap circulating on youTube and AdCritic .

And its creativity/YouTubability/Crispinness aside - I'd just like to comment on "CRIPES Crispin is producing a lot of spots!"

I mean, damn.

I guess we are approaching the event horizon where all work being done by anyone is being done by Crispin and they'll have to 'pull a Stan', as we like to say here in Dallas, when someone splits off an agency in order to serve a conflicting piece of business in the same category.

Here's another thought, on the heels of dropping Mini like a hot potato for VW. Is there an account they'd drop VW for? Mercedes? Toyota? Do you think Volkswagen's CMO wakes up in a cold sweat wondering if Alex is dreaming about driving a Land Cruiser?

I can't help but think about the man who cheats on his wife, then marries that woman. Does she really think he won't dump her for the next tart that starts working late to grease the tracks of her career? Once unfaithful, it's pretty much assumed always unfaithful. Which is why Bernstein Rein is crapping themselves right about now. That's like a man who's been married for sixty years waking up one morning and saying - "Thanks to Viagra, I think I'd like to play the field, thanks." BR is thinking: I raised your fucking CHILDREN, you ungrateful bastard. I hope you catch a wicked dose.

No love. No respect.

Think Mini was pissed to get dumped like a housewife? Whatever Butler Shine is doing for them has been pretty invisible compared to all the VW shit flying around as of late. And all the Burger King stuff. And all the Miller Lite stuff. The :30 second TV commercial is dead, my ass. it lives, and it goes by "Crispin".