Thursday, March 22, 2007

What's in the water in Boulder?

If I didn't know any better, I'd make the rash judgement that CPB was on the slide.

Taking heat for VW, Orville R., and now Miller. That can't be good.

How did Man Laws go wrong? It was good stuff. It was true. It was entertaining and inclusive. Everything you love about beer ads - and less. I guess sales are down? Slumping against Corona?

Having worked on Lite under a different client (Pre-SAB) I know the distributors pull a lot of weight. And MAN did they hate Fallon's Dick campaign. Was Man Laws too weird? Is this story already out there? I'm too lazy to do much more than idly speculate.

Good news: CPB is perfectly situated to pick up Coors and kick its ass (assuming Coors isn't in love with that nonsensical bullshit they have running right now. THERE'S a brand that needs some better work.)

The long road to DVD

Dang. ANOTHER movie I don't want to have to wait for:

We need a go-to babysitter.

Staffing it with a bunch of Furries

Indeed, they have.

Lest we forget

The field is so crowded with squawking contenders, I nearly forgot about John Edwards.
Apparently I'm not alone.

But have no fear: John Edwards is making in roads with the American people in his own special way.
I wonder if they can make the Virtual Headquarters smell of desperation in quiet the same way? Maybe if you staff it with a bunch of Furries?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Do they know they're annoying?

While I refuse to drag this blog into the trivial bickering of politics (I have plenty of trivial ground to cover and politics is really more than I can stomach right now) I gotta ask:

Do politicians KNOW how annoying they are?

Does Hilary get home after a long day of long-winded blathering, turn on the TV and mutter: "Oh, JESUS. Listen to me. UGH." ?

Does GWB rewind his Tevo so he can hear himself mispronounce words and think: I'm an idiot up there sometimes. ?

I have a theory. Politicians are intentionally annoying. They practice in the mirror and then they present themselves as annoyingly as possible in the hopes that we will just turn off the TV, and say, "I don't care who wins. Clearly they are all a bunch of assholes." And then those people will leave the voting up to people who will base their decision on the party with the animal that most closely mirrors their body type. Balding Big-nosed fatsoes vs. stubborn asses with big teeth and long hair.

Oh yes I did.

Or maybe they say "I have listened to as much of these idiots as I can tolerate. I'm MUTING the TV and I'm going to vote based on whoever's face I trust more." Surely this can't be the case. GWB would not survive the mute election - the press has a field day trying to capture the bewilderment on his face. It's unfortunate. I know George W. Bush is smarter than the press makes him out to be. He's a shitty public speaker, granted, but he's not stupid.

We need a Hal Riney candidate. Someone who can not only offer us the words we want to hear, but who pronounces them with the kind of sensitivity and cadence that makes us want to listen. Hilary Clinton has never read a poem in her life. Bill Clinton sure as fuck has. I miss Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton made speeches that sounded like he meant something, was doing something, understood what he was talking about.

Hilary sounds like my wife when she's trying to get the dog to quit fucking around in the rain and take a shit already. "GET IN HERE", she bellows in her deepest voice, chin tucked, glaring from beneath her eyebrows, hoping for respect our dog typically reserves for the Alphadog (me).

HILARY: (in her respect-the-AlphaDog voice) GET THOSE TROOPS OUT OF IRAQ.

I would vote for Hilary Clinton tomorrow if she sounded like Angie Harmon.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Prosthetic weapons - F*ck Yeah!

The trailer fo Grindhouse woke me from a fairly ho-hum SNL daze tonight. You have to see the flying one-legged hottie/automatic weapon in action.

God love a Tarantino/Rodriguez doublefeature.

Campy and violent and great.
Where can I buy my tickets?