Monday, January 21, 2008

Shame on me


I have a new favorite beverage: a dreaded fruity beer. But what can I say, it's motherfucking TASTY. I actually succumbed to the Miller chicks at a tasting booth at the Tom Thumb. And was pleasantly surprised.

I know: ME!

Me who doesn't even use the lime to mask an all-too-often skunkified Corona. Me who scoffs at raspberry beers and peach beers and anything that reminds me of fruit wine or worse: wine coolers. What am I? 14 and drinking out of the back of my buddy's trunk before the INXS concert?

Jesus.

Still, it's a light and refreshing beer. A Meeler Lite you pendejos can drink in the neighbors pool when they're not home and feel like you're back in Cancun with that girl with the tray and the space in her teeth and the sky in her hair. Remember?

You can drink it to soften the blow of a season flushed faster than you can mutter "Jessica" with a mouthful of corn chips and hate.

It's like the Doritos of beer. The first bite is almost too much, but by the third swig you are calculating how many are left in the fridge and how many people are there and what are the chances you'll be able to grab two more without double-fisting. Or better yet, stash one in the crisper - actually stuff it INTO a head of Romaine lettuce so no one finds it.

Lime flavored beer-crack. For $5.99 at Tom Thumb.

5 comments:

J_Fox said...

Dude, c'mon.

Jetpacks said...

This beer is a gimmick that won't last. Better stock up.

But this is gold: You can drink it to soften the blow of a season flushed faster than you can mutter "Jessica" with a mouthful of corn chips and hate.

Make the logo bigger said...

John Mayer does want you to know however that whatever Jessica may have done to Tony, nobody appreciates Texas more. Just sayin.

Irene Done said...

If you really have taken to drinking fruity beer, can I have your big bottle of whiskey?

James-H said...

fox: I think I need an intervention.

jetpacks: the gold is in the bottle.

MTLB: Nobody appreciates Jessica more than Texas.

Irene: when you pry it from my cold, drunk hands. I may have a new sissy beer, but there's plenty of room in my lifestyle for three fingers of Jack.