My, what big...

The Texas Side-step

Can't donate enough to your candidate's campaign? Do what Harold Simmons did. Run your own ad! Last election, Harold wrote a $3M check to the the folks who ran the Swift Boat Veterans ad. And he'll spend just under that on this effort. His bio on Forbes says to expect him to spend $400 Million on "philonthropic gifts" this year.

Clearly all that money is going into media, since it's a series of crappy speech clips, newspaper article scans and ken-burns-effect photographs. One might argue that spending a little more on production value might have made the ad a little more interesting to watch. A little more convincing. A little bit more truly terrifying. Like that Orville Redenbacher commercial Crispin busted out with a fully rendered 3D ressurection. THAT was fucking scary.

But I like this guy's style. Flip a couple million dollar bills out of the wad of dough in your pocket and drop it on some TV ads smearing the shit out of the candidate you don't like. I wish I could casually flip out $3M. "Whatdya need? A tank? A racehorse? Solid-gold sneakers? a yacht? What's it cost? A couple Mil? Hereyago."

That's less than one hundredth of what this guy will do, philanthropically this year. Shit you could BUY CUBA with $400M. And replace all those sweet '57 Chevys with hybrids. I wonder what other kind of havoc could you wreak with $3M?

Hot

Dude. How many times have you wished you had one of these kick-ass tripods????

ThisNext: If Target and Urban Outfitters mated, their offspring would likely resemble Target's Red Hot Shop.

Reading

Giggling away a few hours over David Sedaris' newest book: When You Are Engulfed in Flames.

Damn, is this man funny.

I've seen him read here at the Meyerson. I've sat in my car long after arriving at my destination, to listen to him on NPR describing his adventures with Americans on the metro or his season as an elf at Macy's. I have a few of his books on CD, just so I can hear his voice - which is as much a part of his style as his literary voice.

I don't have much in common with David Sedaris. He's gay, talented, and living in Paris. I'm not.

But, recounting his childhood, his perception of the seventies, his parents, his first few swings at adulthood - I identify.

Here's a good one, that shows up in his new book.

There's this.

I don't miss a lot about the northeast. My family, absolutely. The week the leaves change color, okay. A tolerable summer, maybe. The occasional 3-foot snow storm, hells no.

But not being able to drive up to NYC to see (and smell) this. That, I miss.

An argument for good strategy

All the bling and shizzle in the world is no match for a punch upside the head.
Thanks for the head up, Chuckles.

This is also pretty cool

My professor and mentor Ray Nichols is being recognized by the Art Director's Club. And has selected a few students - myself included - to be among those whose work will be shown in an exhibition at the ADC celebrating his career.

So not only was I recognized as one of his best students, I'll have a piece of work hanging at the ADC.

This is, as we say in the business, a win-win.

New Me

A couple months ago I started griping to my wife about my protruding belly (the result, no doubt of a life of unfettered access to mexican food, light beer and fine cheese.)

She suggested I do her diet-from-hell with her.

I agreed.

So here I am, day 4, without caffeine, alcohol, dairy, wheat, sugar, beef or corn.

What have I done?

It's amazing - when I stop to examine it - just how much liquid I consume on a daily basis: 4-6 cups of coffee, 1-2 beers, an iced tea here, a diet coke there. Well this week it's been water. A little water here? Some there. Some more here.

I haven't peed like this since my wife was pregnant. (The last time I behaved as sympathetically).

People said without caffeine my head would explode. Not true. It's my bladder that's in danger of rupturing from the average of a gallon of water a day I'm running through this engine.

People thought the lack of alcohol might make me irritable. Not true. What makes me irritable is sitting 10 feet from a tableau of cheese, sausage and crackers thoughtfully delivered by a well-meaning editorial producer.

I do feel better. I'm not sure I attribute it to the diet. Or the obligatory exercise. And I'm certainly not feeling any better about my belly. I feel better about the fact that I'm capable of making a change that drastic and sticking to it.

Change is hard. Especially left-hand, middle of the highway, no-signal, change. And it's funny how close to the rut you are - all the time: I'm a frosty beer away from riding my two-wheel diet into the perverbial ditch (filled with steamy enchiladas, venti skim-milk lattes and plates full of brie.

Aim low

My sister pointed out that my blog is written for 8 year olds. And while it is written from a fairly juvenile perspective, I was still a little skeptical.

So here are the ratings of some of my most esteemed friends' blogs:

Make the logo bigger



The Ad Hole



American Copywriter

And my personal favorite (and the one that seems to blow this tool's credibility to bits)

George Parker's obscenity-laced, foaming-mouthed diatribe Ad Scam



Truly. Could anything be more elementary?