Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I've blocked out the names to protect the guilty - but Jesus. In the name of all that is holy - err on the side of fiction.

Just because you surf your iphone on the potty doesn't mean you have to tweet your goddamned bowel movements. For fuck'sake.

File under "squandered opportunity"

Esquire invests six figures in a state-of-the-art magazine cover.
Partner Ford seems to have seized the opportunity to do something truly fucking fantastic - a "blinking lame photo".

Way to go.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Paying attention

Fox posted a pretty good critique of the latest effort from the High Fructose Corn Syrup folks. Worth a read.

I can relate because I've spent the past 26 days reading the labels. Jesus there's a lotta shit out there. I know that the food business is more business than food in 2008, but I think we're finally starting to reach a tipping point: where it's more business than actual food.

Take, for example, Transformer's Fruit Snacks:
For every dollar spent on fruit snacks, I'm putting the cost of the nutrition at, oh, 3 cents per box. The rest is licensing, packaging, shipping and shelf-life.

And profit.

Now, I appreciate advertising like anyone else but once my kid is clamoring to go to McDonalds for the 5 cent toy (he hates my food, to my great relief/chagrin), or clamoring for Star Wars lunchables (sorry - I draw the line at lunchables - which no doubt ROB children of nutrition with that most insidious of creations: shelf-stable cheese).

This isn't some psychotic argument for nutrition. Or robbing our children of their innocence. It's a very basic argument that if you call it "food", you should actually have food in there. C'mon, SOMETHING I can nod to, shrug and say "What can I say? He likes R2-D2 shaped apple slices."

Fuck, I LOVED Star Wars (Star Wars Transformers aside. SWT are a bastardization I will never accept - they violate all the rules of truth and qualify as "over licensing")

It's a plea to the food companies: can you guys TRY to make the food in those licensed boxes actual food? And while you're at it, would it be so hard to bust out a turkey-based brisket substitute?